My Therapist Buys Me Coffee & Gifts
Therapy is meant to be professional, supportive, and focused on your well-being. So, when your therapist starts buying you coffee, snacks, or even gifts, it might feel nice at first—and it can also be confusing.
So, is it just a kind gesture, or could it be crossing a boundary?
“Gifts from a therapist might seem harmless, but they can blur the lines of a professional relationship.”
Let’s start with the fact that small gestures like getting you a cup of coffee during a session or keeping water bottles in the office are usually fine.
These simple comforts are a way to help you feel comfortable enough to relax. However, if your therapist starts buying you coffee, surprising you with your favorite snacks, or giving you personal gifts, it’s good to question what’s really going on.
Therapists are trained to maintain clear boundaries so that the focus stays on your healing. Gifts, seemingly insignificant gifts, can create a sense of obligation or shift the dynamic in ways that might not feel entirely professional.
For example, you might start wondering if you should bring them something in return—or worse, feel pressured to maintain the relationship for reasons beyond therapy.
“Therapy should always feel balanced, with no strings attached.”
Why might this happen? Sometimes, therapists genuinely don’t realize that these gestures could be problematic. Maybe they’re trying to connect with you or show they care, but they’re doing it in a way that isn’t appropriate for a professional relationship.
In rare cases, it could signal an attempt to manipulate or create dependence, which is a serious red flag.
If this happens, it’s okay to address it directly. You could say, “I appreciate the thought, but I’m not comfortable accepting gifts in this setting.” A good therapist will respect that and adjust their behavior without hesitation.
“Healthy therapy relationships are built on trust, not favors or material gestures.”
If your therapist dismisses your concerns or the gift-giving continues, it might be time to reevaluate the relationship. This kind of boundary issue can undermine the safety and professionalism of therapy, and you deserve better than that.
At the end of the day, therapy is about you—your growth, your healing, and your needs. If something feels off, trust your gut, and don’t be afraid to speak up or move on. You deserve a space where you can focus fully on yourself, without distractions or complications.
